


Hiraeth

by fxckthisfxckthat



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 17:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21149636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxckthisfxckthat/pseuds/fxckthisfxckthat
Summary: HiraethnounA homesickness for a home you can not return to or a home that never was.





	Hiraeth

_ "Hurry up Genesis!" _

_ "Angeal you know I can't run well in these stupid shoes!"_

_ Angeal stops to turn back to Genesis, grabbing his hand. "That's why you have to hurry up!" He then takes off once more, leaving Genesis struggling to keep up more than he was before. _

_ "I've only got so much time before your parents steal you for the rest of your birthday and I need to give this to you!" _

_ Angeal had a point. It was hard enough to get past his parents to even meet him here in the first place. So hurrying was in their favor right now. It could be any moment now that Genesis would be locked up in his house dealing with family he doesn't know, he needed to get the best out of the time he had right now. _

_ The two boys ran through the streets of Banora hand in hand, Angeal pulling Genesis along the stone streets. If this hadn't become such a familiar sight, the townsfolk may have thought Genesis was being bullied. By the time they stopped in front of Angeal's house, Genesis had to slide his hand out of Angeal's grip and bent over, placing his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. "Come on it's inside." Angeal took Genesis's hand once more, with a more gentle grip this time before pulling him inside._

_ "You didn't move it did you, ma?" _

_ "No dear. It's still right where you left it." _

_ Angeal quickly ran up to his room after she confirmed his question. Gillian smile at the two boys stumbling into the warm feeling house. She always seemed to have such a warm expression when it came to the two of them, leaving Genesis puzzled. _

_ "Angeal's been telling me today is your birthday for a long time. Been trying to earn as much gil as he could to get you a gift. Ah that reminds me, I've got a little something for you too." She spoke, going to retrieve a box she had set aside. _

_ "Miss Hewley, you didn't have to-" _

_ "Now boy how many times have I told you it's okay to call me mom after your first slip up?" _

_ He felt the heat rush to his cheeks remembering what she meant by that. He didn't retort after that. The box was placed in his hands and Gillian insisted he open it. It was a pair of sneakers. _

_ "Angeal's always telling me how you try so hard not to get your nice shoes messed up," She gestured to the shoes he had on now, which were rather nice dress shoes, "So I got you a pair you don't have to worry too much about." _

_ A grin overtook his features and he gave her a big hug. "Thank you so much!"_

_ He felt a hand placed on his head, smoothing out his hair. "It's not a problem at all. I'm glad you like them." _

_ By the time the two of them had separated, Angeal had come back down with his gift in hand. He eagerly hands Genesis the wrapped gift. It was wrapped in brown paper with a string holding it together. Genesis looked up to him as if asking if he could open it, which was answered with a nod and a smile. He pulled the end of the bow string to loosen the knot. Pulling the paper back, his eyes widened. "No way!" _

_ "You've been telling me how badly you wanted a copy of Loveless since you read it at the library so I got it for you." Angeal rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. _

_ "I can't believe you got your hands on a copy! Thank you Ang!" _

The cliff edge was such a strange place. From here he could see the ruins of Midgar from when supposedly the Lifestream emerged and stopped Meteor. That's what he'd heard from passing towns as he made his way back here. There were flowers on the cliff edge growing here while the rest of the area was barren. He knelt down to the flowers.

Lilies, is what Angeal would have told him. White lillies, to be exact. Angeal told him that they mostly represent a departed soul had received innocence. 

He wondered who had died here for them to be growing. 

_ "You really like plants don't you?" _

_ "It's a hobby of mine, yeah." _

_ "Do you know flower meanings?" _

_ "I do." Angeal sat down next to him once he finished watering his plants. "Why?" _

_ "Can you teach me?" The fondness in Genesis's eyes was undeniable. He had a genuine passion to learn and Angeal knew that. _

_ Angeal had more space for his plants since he made it to First Class. And even though Genesis had his own apartment like room, he spent an awful amount of time here. _

_ "I thought you didn't like my plants." He teased with a gentle smile. His taunt was received with an eye roll. "Yeah yeah tease me all you want. I still want to know." _

_ "Only if you tell me why." _

_ "So I have another way to tell you I love you. Happy?" _

_ "Absolutely." _

The streets of Midgar were barren and bleak. The town having been abandoned for years now. Windows to houses having been broken, glass shards crunching under his boots as he walked. 

He felt numb, walking through the streets. He wondered if Loveless Avenue was still up and running. He knew there was a city booming at the edge of Midgar. He saw it on the way here. He stopped at a little bar on his way to see if he could pick up some information on the state of Midgar, but it wasn't anything he hadn't heard.

The bartender said he looked awfully familiar, especially his bright blue eyes. He told her he heard that a lot. It wasn't necessarily a lie, but ShinRa and Soldier left a bad taste in most people's mouths, so he avoided bringing it up when he could. She mentioned a friend of hers having a familiar shade. He made no comment on it. Maybe Zack had made his way to Edge. Unlikely.

But now wasn't the time to be dwelling on the past. He needed to push further on. Seeing the building though, it brought back old memories. 

_ "What are you putting together?" The redhead asked with curiosity evident in his tone. _

_ "I'm being recommended for Soldier Third Class. If I can go through this mission and impress the Director I might get promoted. I'm going over the mission again so I don't mess anything up." Angeal spoke as he skimmed over the debriefing he'd been given. _

_ "When do you go?"_

_ "Tomorrow." _

_ "I hope you get in. You've worked really hard for this." While slightly jealous, he was happy for Angeal. Out of everyone in their division, Angeal was the most deserving of the promotion. _

_ "If I do-" _

_ "When." Genesis interrupted. _

_A smile tugged at his lips. "When I do," He corrects, "I'll make sure you get in too. We can be sparring partners and that'll really help show off how skilled you are with materia."_

Boots echoed down the long hallway of the abandoned building, parts of it being unnavigatable because of debris. The building was falling apart. He heard that the building was attacked while he was gone. By a Weapon the planet had to defend itself. He thought it silly, but now he was here he was starting to believe the stories. 

Being so high in the building didn't seem to be a good idea, but he was looking for something. He couldn't leave quite yet. At least he could find his way around after all this time. He just couldn't take shortcuts when he needed too.

_ "Angeal what is this?" _

_ He let out a long breath, his eyebrows furrowed as he carefully picked his words. He knew Genesis wasn't going to like the news. In Genesis's hands was a wooden box with words carved into the lid. "You know we have a dangerous job, Genesis." _

_ "Why do you have this?" He could see the tears welling in the others' eyes. He didn't like the look of it. "You aren't going to die out there Angeal! I won't allow it!" _

_ He knew how naive that statement was. Genesis couldn't guarantee anything wouldn't happen while he was out. Hell even Genesis had a few close calls that scared the life out of him. "You don't know that..." Another sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't you have one?" _

_ He knew he caught Genesis when he said that. The way his body tensed and his eyes widened gave it away. "This isn't about me. And if anything you're going to outlive me anyways." There came those tears, running down his cheeks like streams. Angeal carefully pulled the box out of his hands and set it aside, pulling Genesis close and hugging him tightly. "Did you open it?" _

_ "No... And I'll never have to..." _

Stopping in front of a door, he took a deep breath. He never thought he'd be back here. Yet here he was. Looking at the keypad, he wondered if the building still had power. It was a possibility, so he gave it a try.

1402

Click! 

Their anniversary. Of course the sap had to propose of Valentine's day. It was the best valentine he'd gotten that day.

_ "I don't want to fight you, Angeal come with me." He pleaded. "I don't want to hurt you!"_

_"....Okay." _

He pushed the door open slowly. The room hadn't changed much. His hand instinctively moved to the necklace he wore, squeezing the two rings on it as he navigates his way back to the room. This building was bringing back too many memories he tried to forget. He reminded himself he was back here for a reason. He wasn't going to leave here without it.

Kneeling down to look under the bed, he spots the box. He reached to pull it out of its hiding spot. The lid was covered in a layer of dust. He wipes it off with his glove, pausing to read the carved words.

'To Genesis, In Case I Cannot Say Goodbye' 

It was Angeal's work. He recognized the handwriting. He opened the lid. The inside of the lid had pressed flowers stored there.

A white carnation; admiration, a red rose; love, a gladiolus; strength, a lilie, and a few others he couldn't quite remember anymore. All labeled with their meaning. On the bottom, contained a folded note and a multitude of photos.

Shaking hands reached for the note and opened it:

"To my dear Genesis,

If you're reading this, it means I've passed. I know it hurts, but I'll still be at your side don't worry. I'll always be at your side."

A weak laugh pushed past his lips. He could feel the tears coming.

"I want you to be strong. It sounds hard right now, but I know you can do it. In this box I've left you photos of the good times, to help pull you through the bad ones. Even as I'm writing this now I'm still adding photos to the box. I don't want what we had to become a painful memory for you Genesis, far from it. I want you to be able to look back and smile. Can you do that for me?"

"I can." He answered with a shaky smile, though he doubted Angeal could hear him. A hand went to wipe away a tear that was rolling down his cheek. "I can do that Angeal."

"Don't forget that I love you. I miss you already. We will see each other again I promise.

Love you, Angeal."

He folds the paper once again and carefully sets it aside. He starts looking through the photos in the box, most of them were of himself, happy and smiling. Sephiroth was in a few as well, the three of them happy and smiling. Some photos were of places they'd gone together, some of the places they wanted to go with each other but their schedules conflicted. 

All of it was too much, tears now free falling. A broken laugh fell past his lips again. "I never thought I'd outlive both of you. Why must fate be so cruel?" He asked no one in particular.

"My love, the fates are cruel. There are no dreams, no honor remains." He sucked in a sharp breath, trying not to let his voice waver. "The arrow has left the bow of the goddess. My soul, corrupted by vengeance. Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey. In my own salvation. And your eternal slumber." He pushed a hand through his hair, it was much longer now than it had ever been. "Legends shall speak of sacrifice at the world's end. Of sacrifice at world's end. The wind sails over the water's surface. Quietly, but surely."

"Even if the morrow is barren of promise, nothing shall forestall my return. To become the dew that quenches the land. To spare the sands, the seas, the skies. I offer thee

this silent sacrifice." Before he could finish, his sobs broke through the words, hiccups falling into his sentences. The hand in his hair gripping harshly as he cried. Outside, he could hear birds chirping.

After a long time of going through the photos and rereading the letter, he put everything back into the box and closed it.

He'd gotten what he came for.  



End file.
